Experiment

Ha so I'm doing a little experiment because I have a very hard time paying attention and engaging as I'll often have a conversation with someone and not be able to recall much of it, if any at all. It's peculiar because when it is happening I'm conscious that I'm doing it...I am there but I am not present. So during one of my night classes the other night, I observed why I was doing this while I was sitting in class and this is what I came up with:

Why am I not paying attention?

Because I'm thinking, to pay attention I have to watch, but often I get uninterested after only moments. 

My eyes are tired, but I don' feel tired- maybe its the environment- the lighting kind of sucks in here, actually it is quite terrible and hurts my eyes. So I would rather look down at my paper because it is pretty and a crisp white compared to this cruddy lighting surrounding me. My paper is begging to be written on, drawn on- although watching my Professor is rather amusing because he paces back and forth as if in deep thought yet all the while is lecturing. In addition to pacing he makes funny facial expressions that make me laugh and when he smiles you can tell he's happy. He loves to move his hands around while he talks, he almost can't talk without doing something with them.

Welcome to the mind of someone who is ADD. Yes, crazy right? That was honestly my thought process for about 3 minutes out of my 2 hour and 50 minute class. Needless to say I'm working on it and observing when and why I pay attention so I can figure out how to engage and be more conscious of my actions. (The experiment is still in play, will update when more information has been gathered and observed)